All couples argue.

Some arguments can get loud. Some arguments can be deadly silent. However, the result is the same: a broken emotional connection. 

In relationships, the repair is less about solving a problem and more about emotionally reconnecting with your spouse to provide a safe environment for both of you. Gottman explained a repair attempt as “any statement or action – silly or otherwise – that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.” 

A good repair would 

  • deescalate the situation,
  • soften the conversation, 
  • create a safe environment 

so that the couple could emotionally respond and connect to each other in a positive manner. 

Every relationship is unique, so finding a repair strategy that works for you and your spouse is essential. Here is an infographic of some repair attempts:

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