All couples argue.
Some arguments can get loud. Some arguments can be deadly silent. However, the result is the same: a broken emotional connection.
In relationships, the repair is less about solving a problem and more about emotionally reconnecting with your spouse to provide a safe environment for both of you. Gottman explained a repair attempt as “any statement or action – silly or otherwise – that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.”
A good repair would
- deescalate the situation,
- soften the conversation,
- create a safe environment
so that the couple could emotionally respond and connect to each other in a positive manner.
Every relationship is unique, so finding a repair strategy that works for you and your spouse is essential. Here is an infographic of some repair attempts: